I Feel So Lonely Yet I Am Not Alone

Such conflicting & frustrating feelings. Lonely yet not alone. I know Jesus is always with me but what if i sin too much? Will He leave me & forsake me? I am all by myself now with very few friends & no girlfriend due to so many bad circumstances. I can only express part of my loneliness here in this blog. Yet God never leaves me nor forsake me. But this verse in OT has a precondition & that is to fully obey God's laws or He will leave us alone to our own devices. If Jesus & God were to leave me, i would rather not live. But if i die, i go to hell? Then how?

Sigh... This terrible loneliness & pain, who could understand. Jesus is coming very soon. I wonder if i can make it to heaven. I can only pray whenever i could for mercy. I can only pray that God will save me bcos of His Son Jesus & His precious blood. What more can i do now?

I wonder how many millions of ppl out there suffering from loneliness & pain. Maybe there are some who are suffering worse than me. Yes i know there are. I have read abt them, even encountered some poor souls. God bless them & help them & me. Where are You God? Have You forsaken me or left me? Why do You take so long to answer? Prob due to my sins. Sigh.. How long O Lord before You come, Jesus? How long O Lord? Listen to the yearnings of my heart O Lord! Listen to the cries of the martyrs & persecuted & poor. Hear O God from heaven our cries for help. Only You can help us. Pls come quickly Lord. Maranatha! Amen.